everyday; again

everyday, i have disappointments, i have sadness, i have lil laughters, lil happiness adding into me. day by day, i sigh more. . . &more. it's getting so much more complicated. i looked back, compared a lil. i see the same old situation happening again. &once.. again. i start to feel like a fool, again. i start to think i need a big change in life, again. i need to be ME ! i need to lead myself. i now indulge in bgr, being my best. did i take a wrong move ? was i really proven wrong ? that all men have such natures. &i NEED to accept them ? well, it's hard to find an answer. maybe i am still inexperience. i stress myself over my trust, over my faith, over my thinkings, over everyone, girls. i never seem to understand why am i the one thinking &pondering. since the start of my blog, i asked myself alrdy. &i still see no results even till today. very simple, i guess i used the same method to solve the same problem. &ta-da, it's wrong again. if cooking the beans the way you always cooked it, &it tastes nice, there could be another way of cooking it that makes it nicer. just grant me a lil selfishness. a lil 'think for myself only' attitude. pretty plspls ? . . . i did everything to go with the flow, &all you could is spoil my name infront of them. you know how i feel ? it just disappoints me, alot !! why would i ever scold her ? she's an elder. &HAVE I EVER EVEN SCOLDED/JUST TALK BACK TO HER ?! i can't believe. you could do this to me. it's okie. blame the nature of men. now my list adds on, to what kind of ppl i get to see. again, a newer you, a part i never seen. self interest, self profit &what more ? YOURSELF, myself !