have i really let out my troubles?
i tried, but i didn't want ppl steering up conflicts.
so yeah peeps, thanks for everything,
but please, know that i blog,
without a motive.
i just feel sad, &i want to jot it down,
so i can empty my brain spaces.
okie? :D
yesterday morning,
i had deleted my friendster acct.
due to some reasons, that might sound very childish.
but because he got himself a friendster,
&i know.. things will get worst if i did not delete it.
simple things he does,
can& will make me sad.
just by having to initiate wanting to talk things out with me,
&end up expecting me to wait for him.
when we're together,
you also did the same things,
even when we're not together,
i get the same treatments.
remembering me telling you,
i think it's better to be standing as being your friend?
the treatment will be better?
i realised, nopes, it's not true.
cuz both side i take stands,
i get the same whole thing repeating itself.
the reason could be it's with me.
because it's diana.
am i right?
it's never crossed my mind,
that i'll fall so badly,
so badly this time.
i'll have to admit, i'm defeated.
&i'm not up for love games.
because you're always categorize as mr. nice.
nobody would believe what you've done,
cause you're always so 'nice'.
to you, i'm always the bad one.
so to others i would also be the bad one.
whatever good that i've done,
you'll never be able to see it.
because.. diana is harmful.
i harm people.
i lie, i hurt people.
i'm nasty.
but i'm sure,
when you realised that whatever you've always thought it was,
was wrong.
she'll be moving on -
i'll be moving on.
because i used your phone to msg her.
&used mine to help you salvage 'freindship' for you.
to call myself the evil one infront of her.
to eat my fpride for you,
even when you pushed me hard,
scolded me, pointed at me, said mean &nasty things,
&never regarded me as your gf,
just because of your 'friendship'
&to afterall..
forgive you for all those "good" things you've done to me.
because i know.
one day when i look back,
i'll be laughing at these entries.
grinning at the childish tears that fell off my face.
i may not be moving on now.
i maybe crying all nights,
getting very emotional.
but let time heal, let time heal the wounds.
although i may not be as strong as i seemed,
i'll try my very best,
this time.. just for you.
i know, my blog had been revolving around my love life.
but i hope, after this love life is gone,
i'll just fall into the state of being myself again.
because, every man are bad guys.
good guys are just women lying to themselves that there are better out there.
p.s i know you'll move on well, &be very happy.
like what i'll always tell your brudders, cheer him up.
let time heal me. i'll be ogeh.
pp.s study hard.
THE LAST THE END
