I want to... but...

have you ever wondered. "why do men(literally men, men, not men humans) disappoint their other half or make themselves feel guilty in order to perk themselves up and be motivated to love them, like finally?" have you ever wondered. "why some people don't put their shoes in others and selfishly takes others kindness for granted?" have you ever wondered. "why people who gives in gives other people the chance to assume they are pushovers just because they let others take the lead?" I believe there are definitely souls out there who suffers such traumatic wonders of the brain trying to newest and what the hell is going on. and why can't people live the same way we lives and reciprocate? sigh. a sad fact that I have to admit. I have lost the me, I once had. aimlessly abiding by the law of what others have expect and set it for me with transparency. somethings that are there but cannot be seen felt nor heard. so many roles to take up. so many roles to fulfill. and so many people to please. but myself. I want to like most of my friends said. if I were you. I would have done this, done that. but I'm not like that. and how would you expect me to? even typing out this blog post is so unorganized. but who really cares?